The Venting Room. [entries|friends|calendar] E.N.A. [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

sad [05 Mar 2005|09:03pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | the "feeling sorry for myself" sad music mix ] I wish I had romance. My boyfriend's on tour in Asia and busy. He doesn't have time to romance me. It's the last thing he wants to have to think about. He calls me but at weird times of day for like 5 minutes at a time at 2am or 7am when I'm half asleep. I know he makes an effort and really cares but it doesn't change how lonely I can get. He gets lonely too. If he doesn't send me flowers or something on my birthday, I'll be so sad. Guys shouldn't get too comfortable! We're special and we deserve to be treated that way with all the love we give. We just want to feel appreciated and admired. Words are never enough. 1 ecrit

[12 Apr 2004|05:45pm] ok, i need to remind myself to see ben folds in nyc on may 1st and butch walker in LA at Hotel Cafe either May 22 or 23 or 24 REMEMBER eLIZABETH! oh, and stop eating and drinking sugar you ADDICT call Devin and call your Spanish tutor finish reading my 2 books do extra sit-ups even if you feel like you can't move anymore just DO IT and call your sponsor going to the gym farewell ecrit

[29 Mar 2004|06:30pm] [ mood | nauseated ] [ music | i don't need it right now ] it's too surreal yet i feel it's dying again full-blown immersed in nothing laying on the beach kissing in the sun that day it filled my senses to the point where I went numb my eyes watered but didn't cry is that what it feels like to die? then, kiss me, i'm dead my hair is breaking although that won't stop your heart from taking what it was i gave to you what it was you asked of me this is a detox this is a sign just close your eyes and forget you're mine cuz i've stopped seeing i've stopped believing it's my time now so don't stop my bleeding you see, i challenge every look and word til i just fall in then write a song about him when it's just too deep to swim ecrit

[21 Mar 2004|07:50pm] ahhh my picture's gone...help Julietta? :) 1 ecrit

stomach's still growling from last night [16 Mar 2004|08:44am] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | "At Seventeen"- Janis Ian ] ...que 50 Cent It's ma birfday 1 ecrit

I'm still alive in case you were wondering. [15 Mar 2004|01:23pm] [ mood | listless ] [ music | "Gotta Get Out of Los Angeles"- Butch Walker ] It's my birthday tomorrow! ya :) Had a weird past couple of days...but Devin, Cory and Jon are my saviors. They know how to handle my Piscean mood swings. I'll probably head over to El Centro tonight with Dev and who knows else, so I'll have a good time as long as I don't end up like I did last 'sake bomb/apple martini' weekend. I don't need or want or expect any presents. I hate my parents wasting money on me...i'd rather they use it for themselves. That's the biggest gift they could give me...Send themselves on a spa retreat or something for a weekend so they can be happy and relax, and so I can have the house to myself for a couple days just to think and have peace. I need it right now. Ok, so Maroon 5's video for "This Love" is on right now...has anyone noticed the swirly computerized flowers all over the screen when he's hooking up with that girl? How lame. MTV doesn't feel the need to cover up all those jiggling booties in those friggin G-Unit or Cassidy videos but they want to block out two attractive people in a pop video rolling around on a bed looking very sensual and non-skanky. I don't get it. Don't even get me started...thanks JANET. I guess her breast was just the last straw. She may be 40 but those boobs certainly aren't. Personally I thought Nelly was the real disturbance...but I guess groping something clothed and something that belongs to yourself, even for 2 minutes rather than 2 seconds isn't as apparent to the FCC as something "inappropriate." Ahh anyway...this is so old. Why am I even wasting my time typing this right now. r-i-g-h-t nnnn-oooo-wwwwwwwww. I'm out. Love you all. Well, not all of you. ecrit

[12 Feb 2004|12:05pm] So...Sting at the Pantages last night...ELECTRIFYING. HOT. AMAZING. PERFECT SEATS. fun night. ecrit

[10 Jan 2004|01:02pm] [ mood | restless ] [ music | Phantom Planet ] So, this has been somewhat of an eventful week...as in a good week? Absolutely not. First and foremost, I am still trying to ward off this annoying cold, which has kept me from work I need to do, creatively and academically. As I was recording "Haunt," it seemed that the equipment was picking up some AM wave of Nat King Cole singing drippy Christmas songs (sorry Nat- it isn't you), which prohibited us from getting this song (which seems like I wrote it ages ago) done. Well, anyway, so, we couldn't record it. The next morning, I was abruptly woken up from the sound of a painfully loud crack. This naturally freaked me out and as I attempted to resurrect myself from a classic-Elizabeth-sleep tangled position, I hollered and found myself having to physically support my neck with my hands. I could not turn my neck to the left. I felt almost paralyzed in a way. Well, to get to the point, it hurt like a *&%*!#$%()@. So, I called my chiropractor and luckily he was coming in on a day when he usually doesn’t and I was more than thrilled. Apparently, I had been all out of whack for a very, very long time and my vertebrae actually popped back into place and the tissues of my nerve endings were just extremely irritated. Basically, I was just not used to being correctly aligned. So, for the rest of the day, I either hobbled around like Quasimoto, slept, or cried. Boo hoo. I know. The next day, I got up at the crack of dawn to make my teeth-cleaning appointment, which I always love because they assort you with all those great flavors of “polish” to choose from…of course I always pick chocolate-mint which I’ve so loyally stuck with since I first had teeth, but it’s still cool to know that you have about 7 other options. Maybe one of these days, I’ll try orange or bubblegum flavor or something just to confirm that chocolate-mint rules. You gotta be adventurous sometimes. This reminds me of when I used to go to get ice cream. They may have had 31 flavors, but I seldom chose differently than mint chocolate chip. What is it with me and mint and chocolate? Oh well, anyway, the dentist…my bicuspid on the lower left side of my mouth...also known as tooth #21 has been of a mysteriously grayish color for quite some time now and is unbearably sensitive to hot and cold…especially ice. So what does my doctor do? He pulls out a q-tip sprayed with some sort of frozen carbon dioxide from a can and gently places it on the troubling tooth. Well, I don’t think I could have been in any more pain for that half a second. Oh, but it lingered. The pain definitely lingered for a while. Well, to make this impossibly long story brief…he told me I needed a root canal. No! Well, yes. The next day, I went in for a consultation at another doctor’s office to plan my oh-most-anticipated procedure. Well, the next day, an hour and 6 shots later, my dead nerve was finally extracted and tooth…sealed. Although…I do still need to go back for a damn crown. So, now that I am starting to get the feeling back (which is bizarre by the way because whenever I touch my chin, it feels like I’m touching someone else…and it’s also funny because I seem to also have a crooked smile), I think I’ll go take some more advil or force my sister to give me another neck massage. I’m gonna go bite my cheeks some more. Peace and love. 2 ecrit

[01 Jan 2004|02:05pm] [ mood | jolly ] [ music | Hall and Oates- "I Can't Go For That" ] Happy New Year everyone! I can't go for 80's dancing. ecrit

boom boom boom [25 Dec 2003|10:02am] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | silence. actually...the rain ] Happy Christmukah! yaaaaaaaaa 4 ecrit

prrrrrr [26 Nov 2003|11:58am] [ mood | artistic ] [ music | Elton! my queen ] so my bangs are fighting for their life right now...it'll be ok though. i am very resourceful. like a cat. meow. woah. I have noo idea where this is supposed to be going..... ecrit

the sound of UNsilence [18 Nov 2003|12:46am] [ mood | loved ] [ music | my boys, Paul and Art ] Tonight, I saw Simon and Garfunkel(!)...I can't even begin to describe how mesmerizing it was. It was even more exciting at the end when Paul and I had TWO moments together...I was seated right to the left of them in the front row overlooking the soundboard and shtuff. When Paul turned to us and the light flashed on us, I flashed Paul the peace sign...he laughed and flashed it back at me...then later when they were walking off stage I waved to him in my signature baby Elizabeth way and he imitated it back to me smiley gleefully..and we did it like 3 times in a row like little kids playing copy cat....ahhhh my sister and everyone around me was like "Woah...they keep on interacting with each other." Haha, then Jeff said he could see the whole thing from where he was sitting. It was friggin AMAZING. It made me so happy and now I have a story to tell. :) ecrit

AMA'S RECAP [16 Nov 2003|11:19pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | I guess...all of the above. ] outkast was off the hook i liked britney's purple bustier amy lee of evanescence lost weight i felt bad for beyonce wannabe: ashanti alan jackson was sentimental sheryl crow was gorgeous toby keith was cooooool metallica is still goin strong and jason mraz was adorable and poised as always ecrit

[11 Nov 2003|08:25pm] [ mood | deflated ] [ music | the many moods of my friend, the piano ] Love is such a complicated matter. When you find out the person of your dreams is in love with somebody else, so many emotions just start to bleed out of you. First of which is resentment and paralyzing shock, but then you feel happy for them that they are finally happy...you just wish it were with you. It's funny how the person you most loved to look at now becomes the person you have the hardest time looking at. You can only imagine what she's doing to him right now and the power she's having over him. It's even harder when after you've wished bad things for this girl out of pure bitterness from lonesome, you meet her and she is one of the most extraordinary human beings you have met besides him, and you actually understand why they are together. That's when it is out of your control and it just becomes more painful. It's already painful enough to guess and not know her, but then realize that they would probably never break up because he's not the type to get involved in relationships if he feels they won't last, and she's just too damn grateful with perfect morals to ever fuck it up. This is when you don't have your weapon or reassurance you might call it. This is when a voice in your head tells you to give up. But you can't give up. Because you don't give up...and it's just not in your nature. Sometimes I just wish I would give up to make things easier on myself, but I can't, I never have, and I never will...unless there are many signs that this person is not right for me or they actually hurt me intentionally..and enjoy it at that. That is when I know to give up, and I have already learned that lesson. You just can't hate someone when every bone in your body says you adore him, and will always adore him. I guess we imagine false things sometimes aswell. I am going to try to keep myself from fantasizing too much in the future, because I know that when you allow yourself to do that when the situation offers no concreteness what so ever, it just ends up hurting you in the end. I don't believe that things will just happen on their own if you don't put your spirit and own effort into them, but I do believe in time as the healer. I do believe that I will become more grounded. I do believe it's ok to cry. And, I do believe it's possible to know that the person you've only known a very short while can be the person you end up spending the rest of your life with. You just can never win when you're in love in such an uneasy and new situation. ecrit

sacred love [09 Nov 2003|01:10am] sleeping to dream about you and i'm so tired of having to live without you but i don't mind sleeping to dream about you and i'm so tired ok when i wake up and the day begins do i hold my breath and count to ten or will it be three we'll see, we'll see it depends on which day of the week so i sing out i sing out loud i'm just one tiny motherfucker singing proud singing glory, glory hallejulah yeah, that'll do that'll do ecrit

[26 Oct 2003|11:32pm] tired from driving across california obsessed with york peppermint patties crazy in love 2 ecrit

Rest in peace darling. [30 Sep 2003|08:34pm] James Byron Dean Feb. 8, 1931 - Sep. 30, 1955 "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." -Jimmy 2 ecrit

out of hybernation [30 Sep 2003|12:32am] [ mood | a little tired ] [ music | Sarah McLachlan ] Wow. August 11th since my last entry, eh? Well, I have been busy and having fun...full of anxiety yet enjoyed every moment of it. On the educational side of things, I'm still tryin to get this damn history paper done...Hitler's killin me and my teacher is going to kill me if I don't turn it in on Friday. I have so much to do in so little time...but many people are involved so it takes a lot longer for things to actually happen then if it was just me doing all the work. I mean, I am doing the bulk of it, but I'm talking about things I just can't control- like mixing, contracts & more legal stuff. Argg, it's frustrating, but everyone's tryin their best and I appreciate it more than I can express. I miss friends and people who I can relate to and talk to about certain subjects, but I am going to be a guest peer support leader for Loyola on their retreat, haha..."guiding the children" as Chris calls it. "The children?" I asked..."the freshmen" is what he meant. Aww, I remember when I was a freshman...the year of curiosity, insecurity, naivety, hope, recognition, and growth. It was an important year...you start to drive with your parents for the first time with your forever-lasting permit...the first taste of real independence and responsibility...and hopefully experience your first super-awkward experience called a "date."..And if you're really workin it, maybe even a kiss. Those were such innocent days, at least in my circle of friends. Well, enough remeniscing for now..it's time to go to sleep to dream. ecrit

i woke up this morning and the sun was gone.....la la la la la la la la [11 Aug 2003|12:17pm] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | Boston ] Watching 'weekend at bernie's' right now. man, if only i could be dragged by a boat like that..wait, what am I saying. i think the two guys have crashed more bottles on people's heads than i have drunk of milk when i was a baby. this is kind of lame. switch to MTV now. can't wait for the vma's! I wish britney spears would perform...perform what u might say?..i do not know. if she did something from one of her last albums i'd be happy- i think it's time for a resurrection of the classic 'baby one more time.' i loved the days when she would do back flips on stage and tap dance in the breakdowns of her songs. that was before the snakes and panthers and jeweled thongs took over the attention of us. ahh so I saw 'american wedding' last night. so good! had an amazing dinner at Houston's aswell...and a lovely cappucino which kept me up until 2:45...only to be woken up by the gardners across the street who decided to saw trees at 7 am!!! AHHHHH! I went crazy. I closed all the windows, tried ear-plugs, ear-muffs, and pillows over my head. It was that bad. I finally just ended up taking a pillow into my parents closet and called it a night...I mean morning. I got a couple more hours, but I'm still quite resentful... ecrit

my loves: ben folds, jason mraz, and my piano [02 Aug 2003|05:43pm] [ mood | refreshed ] [ music | ...Ziggy Stardust...It's Bowie. I'm obsessed. ] so, last night i was so lucky to enjoy a night of rockin out, wearin a cute grungy outfit, and yelling fuck in front of my mom. it doesnt sound as bad as you think..i went to the greek theatre to see tori amos and ben folds. unfortunately even though i was in the vip greenroom chatting with BMG peeps and was set to meet ben and take a couple goofy pictures for rolling stone, tori's people were a tad militant (since she was headlining) and wouldn't let us go all the way back before she came onstage..and ben had to leave pretty soon after she went on in order to get to san diego and was eating dinner with his wife and blah blah blah soo...it didnt happen. but, his manager said we would definitely hang after his headlining tour in a couple months since his people will be controlling the show... back to ben's stage performance. he just rocked it even in the light of day with only about half the crowd there. i can officially say he is my hero. his honesty, sarcasm, beautiful melodies shining through the purity in his voice and the touch of his fingers (which sounded great live by the way..god if only i could play like him) and this bundle of explosive energy and talent all wrapped up in a little wimpy guy just blew my mind. "it gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say, it gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say, it gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say...FUCK!" well, at least thats what we shouted with him in the end of 'rockin the suburbs' after he was bangin on his Baldwin in which he then managed to stand on top of and when the mic was turned to us. it was such an emotional outlet. my mom even said it. of course after that, she turned red in the face but i assured her it was a rightfully inclined action. well, after that and my brief brush with disappointment backstage, we went back out to check out tori's set which was pretty interesting (no bad connotation there). her voice was pure and her piano skills were..let's say..difficult, considering she was playing two pianos at once...we left after about 5 songs and I think my mind was still in a trance and my mouth still agape but i managed to get it together in time to get some fuel at a 'hip coffee shop' in Los Feliz as so my manager calls it. hip? anything but. the only thing good about was their french toast (yum) and that they played god ol' classic rock. It was a bit loud and a little dark to see the menu but, all in all it wasn't bad considering their "B" rating. Ya, a little dirt can't hurt. It'll make me a tougher woman. I just hope nothing along the lines of the scene in 'Road Trip' happened back there to my toast. I doubt it..my waitor wasn't the least bit bitter. So, I finally got home and immediately became glued to my piano until 2 am. I couldnt stop trying new variations and breakdowns for my songs due to just a pinch of inspiration I sucked in that night. I just realized..wow that's (hopefully) going to be me one day..I better start crackin the whip. well, today I woke up from a dream-filled sleep of past loves, new loves, and music actually, exactly at 9:15 to get ready for my piano lesson (which i was stoked for). I didn't even set my alarm but I managed to wake up exactly the time I planned for. it must be my internal clock gettin in shape. I've been practicing...I try to tell my body "ok, tomorrow morning we are waking up at 8" and what do you know...my eyes open around 7:50. Gettin' pretty good. I'll keep working on it. Well, at my piano lesson, I decided I wasnt allergic to cats anymore and managed to hold my teacher's black long-haired angora. I just coudln't resist those bright green eyes. But, what do you know..about fifteen minutes later in the car, I find myself with one had on the wheel and the other one scratching my chin and face and eyes and..."achooo!" by the time i get home, i found myself putting an over-dosed amount of eye drops in my greenies which i could barely open due to inflamation of my eye-lids, and putting cream on my chin which had been brushed once by a certain someone's tail. sometimes i forget these things and their consequences but it was worth it. i love animals and i just had to have my dose of feline love this week. i do have a dog but i haven't built up the strength to pick up and hold 90 pounds yet. well, my Mikey is lying here right now practically melting into the carpet while I am massaging his golden hairy stomach with my feet. it's a chill weekend for him. new subject- something i just found out: jason: "...brushing my teeth in the shower (what I do to save time)" and i thought i was the only one!...just another reason for us to be married. well, i must say 'Namaste.' Indian food calls... ecrit

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